


Hey, Neighbor.

by ShayThatKid



Category: Why R U, เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Tommy, Cliche, Coming of Age, Don’t Post to Other Sites, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Loss of Innocence, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Next Door Neighbors, Probably other characters - Freeform, Top!Jimmy, bottom!jimmy, smut in later chapters, they are switches, tommy is baby, top!Tommy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayThatKid/pseuds/ShayThatKid
Summary: Two boys. Two windows. Two houses. They have been neighbors since they were kids. Just a fence separating their houses. But as they grow up, things change. And suddenly they find themselves falling in love with eachother thanks to the space between their windows.
Relationships: Jimmy Karn Kritsanaphan/Tommy Sittichok Pueakpoolpol, Saifah/Zon (Why R U?: The Series), jimmy/Tommy
Comments: 21
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a short story probably. Which means short chapters. I wanted to make this like journal entry’s. In Tommy’s point of view but I want tell you why u til the very end c; hope you all enjoy! And get ready for tissues and diabetes because I love this idea so much!

Tuesday, April 2005

I first saw Jimmy early Tuesday afternoon.

We were kids then. I was about 8 years old and I had just gotten new binoculars from my dad from my previous birthday present and I feel like I should thank my dad for that gift. Because I probably wouldn’t have had the dying desire to look out my bedroom window and look at the house next door. The house that was empty for years.

Wasn’t empty anymore.

As I turned to look at the house, the room right across from mine was now lit up with lights and I saw red boxes and football posters on the walls. And a flash of a human boy running passed the window. He must have saw me looking at him because he had came back to the window. He was tall already for his age, his hair was a shaggy mess, and he was squinting.

He saw me looking at him. Great.

I gasped and quickly turned away from the window. We have neighbors. We haven’t had neighbors in years and now our new neighbor is going to think I was a creep for staring right at his window like a creep. With binoculars to add to it. Just great. Cross off any chances of us being friends-

“Hey, dude!”

I blinked. The voice sounded to close which meant it had to have been the boy from next door. I slowly turned around and to see he was still there, his whole body leaning outside of the window. I remember being a little scared that he was going to fall out of the window but he was so excited to see me that I wasn’t even able to say anything.

“I’m Jimmy! It’s nice to meet you!” He shouted. His smile was so bright and he was bouncing on his toes. I instantly got the feeling that this Jimmy boy was the type that got energy just from interacting from people. Which meant he was a people person. Unlike me.

I remember blinking once, then twice, then three times. I remember not knowing how to respond to this loud, tall boy who had a bright smile and that was going to fall out of his window just to get to talk to me. And I remember the frown on his face.

“Hey no fair, you get to look in my bedroom with binoculars but won’t even say hi to me, how rude.”

I think that was the first time I blushed. It wasn’t because I thought he was cute or anything, that was going to come later. Eight year old Tommy was just embarrassed and he felt stupid for not being able to say anything to the boy across the fence. One thing I will learn though, is that soon it won’t be so hard.

Soon I wouldn’t be able to go without a day without seeing the boy from across the fence.

“No!” I remember shouting, my face completely red. “I-I was just trying them out and so happened to have a window facing your room. I-I wasnt looking at you!”

“But you were. I saw you.”

“I wasn’t-“ and then he was laughing. That was the first time I heard Jimmy laugh and 8 year old me Didnt know that sound was going to be what was going to make me fall in love with the very person across the fence from me.

Don’t let Jimmy read this. He will probably make fun of me for being so cheesy. But I was cheesy. Only when it involved him. 

I was about to say something else but suddenly a women voice could be heard and Jimmy, the boy I had just met, quickly turned to talk to it. It must have been his mother. He quickly turns towards me and smiles big again.

“It was nice speaking with ya, neighbor!” Jimmy shouts, his smile as bright as the sun above. 

And just like that, our lives were intertwined.


	2. Chapter 2: So, We’re Friend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy’s mother finally forces him to play with his neighbor, Jimmy, who tommy has avoided since their first meeting which leads to them having their first argument.

11 years old.

Jimmy now had been living next door to me for three years now and we haven’t spoken much since then. Jimmy quickly got a bunch of new friends, joined the basketball team, and made even more to the point he was hardly home. I wasn’t really all that surprised that this happened. Mainly because of how nice Jimmy was. But it still made me a little sad that I haven’t seen him smile at me from across his window since that day.

You might be wondering, how have we not really spoken since that day. We lived close together so that also meant we went to the same school and rode the same bus. We had many chances of talking together. We were the first ones on the bus in the morning, so we could sit next to eachother. We went to the same school so we had classes together. But we didn’t talk? I know it doesn’t make sense. Because it doesn’t.

It was all my fault. 

The truth was, Jimmy scared me. He was so ready to talk to anyone and make new friends. I was never that way. It made me feel so nice to finally have someone other than my mother and father be so excited to talk to me, because I wasn’t one to always have friends. And at that moment, I thought Jimmy and I could be friends.

But I wasn’t really good at speaking back to him.

There were times when Jimmy would wait for me at his window to speak, and I was so shy to the point where I would walk past my window. There was times where Jimmy would rush on the bus to grab a seat. He would smile widely at me, patting the seat next to him. But I would slowly watch his smile turn into a frown as I would take the seat furthest away from him in the front.

I wanted to talk to him. So badly. I just didn’t know how.

And it seemed like my mother also wanted me to talk to Jimmy, because that summer morning, I was watching Jimmy play basketball with his friend whom I knew was Joss, and his other friend whom I knew was Zee. I tended to do this but not go out and play with them. I mainly would stay inside, play video games. 

But my mother wasn’t having it.

“That’s enough,” she suddenly said, snatching my bowl of cereal I had finished pulling it out of myhands. “Go out and play with Jimmy.”

“But, mom-“

“‘No, we have been through this Tommy. He’s our neighbor. Easy friend to make. Just go out and play.” She pleaded with me. “I’m worried about you.”

She always said this. I would be worried too if my son didn’t have any friends and made no moves to make any. Some people thought I had a problem. And maybe I did. Or maybe I just liked being alone.

“Mom, there’s nothing to be worried about. I-I just,” I didn’t even get to finish as she gave me a stern look. I sighed and pushed out of my seat. I didn’t want to argue with her, mainly because I knew I wouldn’t win this one.

“I don’t even like basketball,” I muttered as I walked out of the house. My head low and my feet kicking. I walked to the front door and slipped on my tennis shoes and I didn’t even need to look back at my mother to know she was smiling widely as she screamed ‘Have fun’ from behind me.

She had always been on your team, Jimmy.

I remember the nerves I had as I slowly creeped up to your side of the Fence. I remember my hands getting sweaty as I walked over. I remember the look you gave me as she saw me walk over to your side. The look of surprise and then the frown. I would have frowned to if I saw me. I had been avoiding you for three years.

“Oh, look what the cat dig up,” teased Joss. I’m sure you filled your best friends on me. How I literally stayed clear away from you like you were the plaque. Explained the tone of voice he used.

“He doesn’t think you have a virus after all, Jim.” Commented Zee, who was a little nicer than Joss. He smiled at me and held out his hand. “Zee.”

“I know who you are,” I said quickly before I hit my tongue. That was rude. “W-we have math together. I sit next to you actually.”

He nodded, smiling widely. “Yep that’s it! I almost forgot you lived next door to Jimmy. I never seen you outside.”

Well stung a bit.

I remembered looking up at Jimmy who was silent. The boy who had been all smiles, hanging out of his bedroom window to get to talk to me wasn’t talking to  
Me. And that sort of made me feel a certain type of way.

“Hand the ball over, I’m sure I could beat you.” I said and I wish I could have slapped myself. I didn’t even know how to play basketball. I never played it in my life. Why did I think it would be cool to actually say something to him. He wasn’t speaking and it was angering me.

“You wish,” he said. Shaking his head. “You hardly go out, what do you know about basketball?”

“My dad used to play,” it’s not a lie. He did. “I used to watch him all the time. Hand the ball over to me. Or are you scared?”

“Oh Jim, looks like you finally got a challenger.” Zee had said, smiling. He loved this. Jimmy didn’t. I could see the anger falling off his body. And I should have been scared.

But I remember thinking it was funny. To tease Jimmy. It was the first time I realized it was going to be something I’d enjoy.

Jimmy quickly walked over to me. He was so much taller now, almost towering over me. He glared at me for a few seconds before he angerly passed the ball my way.

“Check,” He said, his eyes not leaving mine.

I knew enough of baseketball to know what to say next. So I passed it back to him and said. “Check.”

He laughed before passing it over to me, and I quickly came to action. I remember how close we were, his chest close to mine as I dribbled the ball back and forth. Clumsy but I had a grip. I remember I didn’t want to look stupid in front of Jimmy. I wanted to look good. Which is probably what gave the the courage to push past him. It shocked Jimmy just enough to push him off balance and I rushed towards the hoop and jumped and pushed the ball as hard as I could and watched.

And it made it in the hoop with a swoosh.

I grinned really widely and turned back to Jimmy, giving him a shrug.

“Looks Like that’s one in,” I said. My eyes not leaving his as she glared even harder at me.

“Oh, well. You’re just lucky.” He would say.

And it went on like this for many minutes. I was making hoops and Jimmy was getting angrier at the minute. I hadn’t really noticed, I was just having fun playing with him. And him being all grumpy was sort of cute. But Jimmy wasn’t having it. 

Which is why he had suddenly shoved me. Hard. 

I was shocked that I had let go of the ball, and I feel face first into the concrete of his makeshift basketball court. I felt the burning of the scratch before I felt the blood sliding down my face . I quickly looked up to see the horror in Jimmy’s eyes as he looked at my face. Like he couldn’t even believe what he had just done.

I slowly lifted my hand from the ground to my face and pulled it back. My hand was covered in blood.

*

“There, all patched up.” My mother said as she finished placing the bandage on my face. She was more thankful that I didn’t have to go to the hospital.

“See what happens when I try to make friends,” I said, pouting as I watched her take the bloody cloth from the table and dispose of them. “I always end up getting hurt.”

“Stop being dramatic, love,” my mother would say as she would laugh. “You’re kids. I’m sure jimmy was just angry that you were beating him. I’m sure he wants to apologize.”

I got up from my chair and walked towards the stairs. “Well, I’m never talking to him again!”

“Tommy!”

“Never!” I shouted as I marched up the stairs to my room. I quickly ran to my room and laid on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling for a few moments before I heard him.

“Hey, Neighbor!” It was Jimmy for sure. And I didn’t want to speak to him, so I turned away. I hated the back that he could see me laying in my bed. I wished I could move my bed but my room was too small for that.

“Oh, come on. Let me apologize. Please.” He pleaded and I quickled sat up and walked over to the window.

“You’re a jerk,” I said. My voice cracking a little. I was so close to crying.

“I could say the same for you, you know?” He said, turning his nose up at me and crossing his arms over his chest.

“You pushed me into the concrete all because I was beating you!”

“It was because I was mad at you for ignoring me! Alright!” He shouted back, his hands gripping on his window seal.

It was silent for a moment. Just the window and the sound of the birds. We stared at eachother from across our windows and I sighed.

“I-im sorry for avoiding you…. I never wanted to it’s just… you scare me with how easy it is for you to make friends. You talk to everyone, smile at everyone. It’s different…. it’s different for me.” I finished and blushed as he started to giggle.”don't laugh, jerk!”

“Was it hard to talk to me today?” He asked, a smile on his face. And I shook my head. “See, I’m not that scary. Scardy cat.”

I rolled my eyes but the blush never left my face. We didn’t say anything again, but it was comfortable silence.

“I’m sorry for pushing you, it was uncalled for.” Jimmy at that time looked sad. “I just wanted to be your friend….and it seemed like you just didn’t like me.”

I like you too much, Jimmy. That’s why it was so hard for me. But 11 year old me just didn’t know that yet.

“It’s not that, trust me.” I whispered, looking away from him.

“So, does this make us friends now?” He would ask his voice filled with so much hope that it made me look up. He was smiling widely and he was leaning out of his window. It was that smile again. That smile from when we first met.

“Y-Yea, it does.” I said. And I didn’t even realize I was smiling at him, too.


	3. Chapter 3: My First KISS Went a little like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Tommy are best friends now, but Jimmy wants Tommy TO befriend his other two friends, Joss and Zee. He gets Tommy to do this by guest starring on a Epsiode of Joss and Zee’s YouTube videos. It was all going great, until Joss brought up first kisses.

15 Years Old

“Hey, Neighbor!”

I remember groaning into my pillow as Jimmy’s voice seemed so close and so loud to my still sleeping ears. His voice was one of the first voices I heard in the morning, mainly because we both now had walkie talkie’s beside our beds. It was a way for Jimmy and I to talk at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. It was also Jimmy’s way of waking me up in the morning because I never got up on time for school.

Ever.

“Neighbor! Wake up or I will come over and lick your ear again!” 

I shot up, quickly grabbing the walkie from my bed side table. You heard it right. Again. My mother always let Jimmy into my house when I wouldn’t wake up and just two weeks ago, he stormed in and licked my ear to wake me up. I was so gross that I punched him in the face out of anger. 

I quickly walked over to my window, glaring at Jimmy who was smiling brightly at me from across the fence in his room. He didn’t stop grinning as I glared at him.

Glared at my now new best friend.

After the whole basketball thing, Jimmy an I were super close. It took me a few weeks to actually get close to him like we were now, but soon enough Jimmy and I were one bird in a pond. If Jimmy was somewhere, I’d be there. Let it be a basketball game, I was cheering him on, let it be a music show(me), Jimmy was cheering me on. He was my best friend.

“I’m up, geez shut up!” I shouted. “It’s Saturday, why do we have to get up early?”

Jimmy rolled his eyes. He was shirtless and his hair was a mess, so he clearly just got out of bed. “You forgot, Didn’t you?”

“Forgot what?”

“We were going to help Zee and Joss record for their YouTube channel! How could you forget?!” Jimmy shouted and I remember grabbing at my hair and looking at him in horror.

“No, I will not!” I shouted, shaking my head.

“Come on Tommy, you already promised!” Jimmy shouted. “You can’t back out now.”

“I sure can.”

“You can’t, you promised and I thought you were going to try to be closer to Joss? If you back out now then there will be issues.” Jimmy did have a point. I was closer to Zee, mainly because he was nice to me. Joss was a little hard to be friends with. He was popular, like Zee and Jimmy, but he just didn’t like me.

If I backed out of this he’d never like me.

“Agh, fine!” I shouted and Jimmy smiled really wide and started bouncing on his feet.

“I knew I could count on you Tommy!” He said, all excited. I remember smiling and look at my friend who was jumping up and down. He always wanted me to get close to Zee and Joss. Maybe now would be the time.

I quickly got dressed, a button up and jeans something easy to wear and I remember meeting jimmy out in front of my house. Even at 15, Jimmy was taller than me. He smiled widely and roughed up my hair, rolling his eyes as he clearly touched the gel that was in it.

“Gel, seriously?” He said raising his eye brows and I blushed and pushed him away.

“If I’m going to be in front of a camera then, I might as well look good!”

Jimmy laughed but didn’t say anything else as he grabbed my arm and pulled me two doors down to Zee’s place. I always let him drag me around places, mainly because I liked when he touched me. I still was very confused about my feelings towards Jimmy at this point. Liking boys never grossed my mind.

But, I did like Jimmy. But at this point. It was just a friend like.

Until later that day….

*

When we got to Zee’s it was pretty normal. Zee and Joss’s segment today was them talking about their excitement of finally going into 11th grade of high school and what it was like. Until.

Until Joss brought up kissing.

“Alright all, who all had their first kiss in this room.” Joss said as he casually took a sip of his soda. Zee laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Lame question, Joss. I had my first kiss two years ago. With a girl from my bio class. With tongue.” Zee finished, wiggling his eyebrows. 

I begun to sweat. This was not what I wanted to happen that day. Not at all.

“How about you, Joss? Since you asked the question.” Jimmy suddenly asked and he shrugged.

“Six grade, with a girl I went to the six year ball with. We dated for like two weeks. Middle school shit you know?” Joss said this like it was nothing. Like he kissed every day. He probably did.

“What about you Tommy? I bet yours was all cute, since you are so shy and things.” Zee said and now everyone in the room was looking at me. I remember looking at the camera, to Joss who looked amused, to Jimmy who rolled his eyes.

“There’s no way Tommy kissed anyone, he’s too scared to.” Jimmy laughed before saying. “If he would have, I would have known about it.”

It was silent. I remember I blushed super hard but this time in anger. I quickly got up.

“Fuck you Jimmy.” I said which surprised him because I hardly cursed. I quickly stomped out of the room, my face red and my eyes tearing up.

“Tommy, wait-!” But I already slammed the door behind me shut. I didn’t have to look behind me to know Jimmy was following me as I got up and left the house. When we finally got out of the house he dragged me to the back yard.

“Leave me alone Jimmy, I don’t want to talk to you,” I muttered and he sighed.

“Look Tommy, I’m a dick. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that-“

“You shouldn’t have.” I cut him off, glaring at him.

“I know I know it’s, I’m sorry okay.” Jimmy rushed out before saying. “If it helps with anything, I haven’t had my first kiss either. It’s dumb that people make a big deal about it.”

I remember looking up at him in shock. Jimmy. Popular with the girls jimmy never kissed a girl?

“You’re lying to make me feel better, aren’t you?” I asked, before rolling me eyes. “You don’t have to-“

“I’m not okay. Why is it so hard to believe I’ve never kissed anyone?” He asked and I shrugged.

“I don’t know, you dated a girl last year… I just thought-“ but he cut me off.

“I didn’t really like her. One date doesn’t get me a kiss, Tommy. Geez who do you think I am? You think I go around kissing everyone body huh?” He asked and this made me blush.

“I do not! I just thought-“ but then he laughed. “What’s so funny!”

“Seeing you get all worked up, is funny. Just how it’s funny how everyone gets so worked up about their first kiss. Sometimes I just wish I could just get it over with.” Jimmy said and he did have a point. People did do silly things because of first kissed.

“Same here, I wish I could just get it over with as well.” I whispered.

It was silent for a minute, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how Jimmy’s hand was still holding mine. I couldn’t look up at him because this was weird. The way I was feeling was weird. He was acting weird. All weird.

Then he suddenly laughed, causing me to look up at him.

“What’s so funny?” I asked and he shook his head.

“Nothing, it’s stupid.” He said and I wasn’t buying it. 

“Come on, Jimmy, you tell me everything!” I shouted and he blushed. I’ve never seen my friend blush.

This was new. And boy was I not prepared for what he was about to say.

“Well, I just had a silly thought. M-maybe we should kiss.” He said before blushing harder. “Just to get it over with.”

I couldn’t believe this. Jimmy, my best friend, just brought up about us having our first kisses together. That’s insane.

“Jimmy this isn’t funny.” I remember saying, pulling away from him.

“And I’m not trying to be.”

“Then how the hell can you bring this up, I’m a boy you know?” I said and Jimmy rolled his eyes.

“Of course I know, Jesus Tommy forget I asked it was stupid-“ he was about to walk away but I grabbed his arm. After all this confusion I was having. Maybe this will be my ticket to understanding what I felt.

“Wait.” I whispered before sighing. “J-just to get it over with?”

Jimmy then looked excited again before nodding. 

“Yes, just to get it over with.”

“And you swear not to tell anyone.” I said, glaring at him. And he placed his hand in his chest.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” he said, smiling widely at me. 

We stood there for a few moments. Not saying anything. My palm was starting to get sweaty. Friends don’t kiss friend, right? This was going to be so wrong.

“On the count of three, okay?” He asked and all u could do was nod. I couldn’t even look at him.

“One.”

This was so wrong.

“Two.” 

Maybe I should stop this. This could end our friendship. What if Joss and Zee and see come out here and see us kissing. Boys don’t kiss boys. This is all wrong.

“Three.”

I was about to say no but Jimmy moved so fast that I couldn’t even say anything. In a beat his lips were on mine and my heart was beating out of control. Having Jimmy kiss me was like a key finally unlocked what I was feeling all along. His lips were soft, not how I thought a boys lips would feel. And he was gentle. He only moved his lips a little of course, we were both not experienced with kissing so, it was awkward.

But it was one of the best things that happened to little me. Ever.

Ten seconds. That’s how long our kiss lasted and he quickly pulled away. We didn’t say anything, but the look on Jimmy’s face wasn’t disgust but my mind was going haywire.

“That was-“

“Yea.”

Silence. I felt like my face was about to explode. I had to say something.

“Nice work,” I muttered and wished I hadn’t but at least it made Jimmy laugh.

“Thanks?” He replied, making it sound like a question. It was silent again before saying. “We should head in before they come out here.”

“Right,” I say and he just nods one more time before turning towards the house before stopping. “What is it?”

“Thanks,” he says quickly, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

“For?”

“For allowing my first kiss to be with a friend I actually cared about.” He says before walking back into the house, leaving me outside.

Yes, my first kiss was with Jimmy. My best friend. And at that moment, hearing the word ‘friend’ burned my heart like a flame.

And it was only going to get worse.


	4. Chapter 4: Sex Dreams of Ya Homie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a week since the kiss and Tommy hasn’t spoken to Jimmy since. This is making Jimmy sad, and Tommy doesn’t understand why he’s so angry at the word friend. But, one little lewd dream of Jimmy doesn’t help with the confusion.

15 Part 2

I had been a week since Jimmy and I kissed. 

A whole week and I couldn’t get it out of my head. From how soft his lips were, to how he actually held my hand when we kissed (A detail that I probably have made up myself, later on) and how he had thanked me for allowing his first kiss to be shared with someone who actually cared for. A friend.

A friend.

At the time, I didn’t know why I hated the word ‘friend’ so much. But the way Jimmy was able to say we were still friends after we shared such a intimate thing together bothered me. And I haven’t spoken to him since that day. I didn’t realize it was because I was angry at him, I wouldn’t realize that until later on.

But I avoided Jimmy like he was the plaque. He still tried to contact me in the walkie’s to wake me up but I was up way before he would shout for me. I knew he would wait for me by my gate for the bus to come, so I’d already be down the street while he waited. And even if he sat next to me on the bus, I wouldn’t speak to him. I stayed away from him.

‘Friend? Who the heck kisses their friends?! Agh’

“Hey so, what the heck is going on with you and Jim?” It was Zee. Zee and I have gotten closer, a lot more closer than I was with Joss that was for sure. I wouldn’t say that Zee was my best friend, that was for Jimmy, but he was right beneath him.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said as I grabbed my book bag out of my locker. It was the end of the day of school and I was going to have to make a beeline for the bus soon. 

“You know what I mean, Tommy, don’t play stupid. Why aren’t you talking to Jimmy. You guys are always at the hip. He’s sad.” Zee said. I also had to look up at Zee, which was embarrassing, so I just pushed him to the side and walked super fast down the hall.

“I said nothing happened.”

“You guys haven’t spoken since the video last week, look if Joss pushed it I’ll make him apologize. And I’m sure Jimmy feel crappy for putting it out there you haven’t kissed anyone. Just please talk to him, he’s walking around like a sad dog and I can’t stand him.” Zee pleaded and I rolled my eyes. Zee was a sweet guy. And me, as an adult, I did sometimes wonder….

Wonder if Jimmy wasnt in the picture. What if?.... but that’s a story for a later time.

“It’s fine Zee, seriously. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said with a smile and gave him a big wave before I walked quickly to the bus. 

I had to make it there before Jimmy.

It was a week. He was going to pressure me into talking to him soon. And I wasn’t ready. My emotions were all over the place and I just wasn’t ready to face him yet.

“Tommy!” I heard him shout and I quickly ran for it, not even having to look back to see he was coming after me, too.

As I got on the bus, I quickly found a seat next to a girl who I had a few classes with. And thank goodness the seat behind and across were taken, too.

Jimmy just stared at me, his face sad. And at that moment I wanted to tell him everything. But I hadn’t known I was angry.

I hadn’t known I didn’t want to be his friend anymore…. I wanted something more.

Stupid 15 year old me, huh?

*

The next thing that happened was an accident. I mean it was a dream after all, so of course I had no control over the situation at hand. But boy…. it’s going to be hard to explain.

I had never had a sex dream before. Boy’s my age have raved about girls they dreamed about. Girl’s

I was having this dream about Jimmy. Jimmy my best friend. Jimmy… a boy.

It was the kissing again. And the way his lips felt so soft against mine. But this time, it was in my room. Not at Zee’s and not outside. The kiss was still a mess, but he was going at it a little more tougher than the way he kissed me outside. And I… I was moving my lips against his.

And when our fronts slide against eachother, dream me moaned while real my quickly got up. I was sweating, my heart was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach. But the scary thing was the small little tint of my covers and I knew. I knew I had a boner from this.

“Fuck,” I whispered, and I wanted to cry. This was all too much. I quickly got out bed, not even wanting to touch the sinful thing. How can I dream of this? How can I dream of Jimmy like this? This was wrong. I was wrong.

I was a mess-

“Tommy, you’re awake?” Speaking of the devil.

He was standing at his window, looking right at me. He was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and I quickly ran to my bed, and grabbed a pillow to hide the evidence of my sinful acts.

This was totally embarrassing.

“Look tommy, whatever I did I’m sorry. Was it the fact that I kissed you? I’m sorry it was a stupid idea and I see if you are disgusted with me. I shouldn’t have done it I just.. I don’t know.” And he sighed. 

Jimmy thought I was disgusted by him? He thought that was the case? 

Boy was he wrong.

“N-no, it’s not that I just… needed some time to myself,” I had whispered, looking at my best friend. “I didn’t want to make things awkward.” 

He nodded, “right, Yea. That makes sense.”

Silence. We both didn’t say anything but as usual Jimmy broke the silence.

“So you aren’t disgusted with me? For kissing you?”

I shook my head, “I could never… y-you’re my best friend.”

And I wanted to cry. I hated the word so much. I hated it but I couldn’t force this on Jimmy. 

It was one huge mess.

I remember him smiling that smile. The smile he only does to me. 

“Good, I’m glad.” He says before he waves and goes back to his bed.

Jimmy, you were going to be the one disquieted by me…..


	5. Chapter 5: Senior Year Blue’s (P1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy has another girlfriend who enters the picture, and he seems to like her a lot more than the other. Tommy is extremely heart broken by this which leads to him breaking down to Zee.

**17 Years Old**

The summer went by in a blur, and before I knew it we were in our senior year of high school. Jimmy had joined the basketball team our freshmen year, and now he was the captain of said team. He was y’all enough, and fast enough, and good enough. And thanks to basketball he had gotten popular. Not just on the court.

But with the girls.

He has had so many girl friends in the past years, none of them lasting long. He was considered a player but in reality he just never clicked well with any of the girls he was with. I knew that because he would come to me and complain about them. And at first I was willing to be of some help.

But over the years I grew more in love with him. And every girl he ended up dating, the more my heart broke. 

It wasn’t his fault. He was more of the normal one. Going out and dating girls. Why did have to fall in love with my best friend? Suck a sick cliche. And I couldn’t blame him.

Because he didn’t know. And I wasn’t going to tell him.

Which is how I landed in this situation.

I was sitting across jimmy and his new girlfriend, whose name I tend to forget every single time he tells me. She seemed nice enough. Which is probably why they were together for so long (Long got Jimmy with a girl was about 4 months. They had been dating for five). We were getting milk shacks and Jimmy wanted me to get closer to his girlfriend because I was the best friend.

But he also had something to say to me.

“I’m taking Liza to prom,” he blurts out. He looked guilty now because he promised to take me to prom, so we can go and clown around the whole night. He said he would do this even if he had a girl friend. Because, to him, prom wasn’t ‘all that’. But it seemed this girl changed his mind.

Go figure.

But I played it off like I wasn’t angry, and laughed.

“It’s okay Jim, I can always go with someone else.” I say and take a sip out of milk shake. I don’t have to even look up at Jimmy to know he is smiling really widely. He is thankful I didn’t blow up on him. He felt guilty and he shouldn’t be. He liked this girl, he deserved to go to prom with someone he liked.

But why did this hurt so damn much?

I always used to wish that I could just fall for some girl, and finally rid myself of these feelings for Jimmy so I could be a normal friend with him. How Zee and Joss were able to talk about girls tits and asses with him. I couldn’t even talk about that with him because I didn’t care about any girls body parts.

I did care a lot about Jimmy’s, after all, and that is just not normal.

I remembered I hated myself. I remembered that I felt like I was going to be a disappointment to my mother because I couldn’t like a girl like a ‘normal person’. I had to be stuck on Jimmy ever since I met him. It was always Jimmy. And Jimmy was so in grained into my damn heart that I couldn’t move on.

Even though it hurt me.

*

“Why are you so quiet, Tommy?” It was Zee. Over the past few years, Zee and I had gotten closer. I even considered him my second best friend to Jimmy. And it was nice to have a guy friend where I wasn’t getting heartbroken twenty-four seven. It was normal.

At first it was normal.

I never brought up my feelings for Jimmy to anyone. But, Zee was a little different. I felt like I could trust him. I never said it out front, but I didn’t complain about Jimmy pushing me to the side for his girl friends. And it was nice.

Nice to have someone to rant to.

“You know it’s been a tradition for Jimmy and I to go to dances together to you know, joke around,” I start off and he nods. He knows this. “Well he just canceled on me and I… don’t know. I’ve been feeling very sad about it. Like I know he has a girlfriend and you do that shit with your girlfriends but… he always did it with me. And it seems like I’m slowly losing him.”

I didn’t even know I was crying. All I know is Zee was there faster than a blink and he was wiping my tears away. He was such a good friend. 

It was silent for a moment before finally, Zee looked up at me. His eyes scared for what he was about to ask me and I knew what he was going to ask me. Because Zee knew things.

“D-do you like Jimmy?” He asked, like he was in pain. “Like…. like like him? Is that why you are so hurt?”

I don’t know why I was so angry. I ended up pushing him away, and quickly standing up.

“Hell no, Zee! What the fuck?!” I shouted, my body shaking. I never had been found out. This scared me shitless. “I’m not a fucking Homo!”

It was silent again. My shouts ringing in the room. I’m so thankful my mother wasn’t home, and that it was just us. I’m so glad my window was shut because I’m sure Jimmy could hear it from across the fence. It was Zee and I so I didn’t know why I was so angry.

It made no sense.

But being outed was something I never wanted. I was hoping that, by the time Jimmy and I had to leave for college, that my feelings would be gone. I wanted see him all the time. I wouldn’t be so tempted when he’s not around me.

This wasn’t the plan.

Zee slowly walked over to me, before he grabbed my hand. He was so gentle then. Caring. 

And I broke down. I cried so hard for the first time in my life. It was like a big burden was finally coming out of my body and it hurt to come out. And Zee just held me in his arms as a cried. Rocking me back and forth.

“It’s okay Tommy, it’s okay,” he whispered into my hair as he rubbed my back. It was scary and intimate and I had never been this close to a guy before in my life. I was filled with a lot of emotion and it felt good to be cared for. 

“T-thanks,” I whispered back before he pulled away from me. Smiling widely.

“Thanks for being honest with me, Tommy. It means a lot.” He said before holding out his pinky. “You’re secret is safe with me.”

And that night, Zee suddenly became closer to me than Jimmy was. For the first time, someone knew something Jimmy did not. 

For the first time, someone was ahead of Jimmy in my life.


	6. Chapter 5.2: Senior Plus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Zee are getting closer, which leads Jimmy to suspect that they are dating. Such a awkward conversation in the car between friends. Tommy didn’t even think Jimmy would notice he and Zee had grown closer. He himself hasn’t even thought of the possibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus part is short, mainly because chapter five is a chapter of many parts. I wanted to set up the tension between Jimmy noticing Zee is now possibly in the picture, that he isn’t Tommy’s only close male friend. And we will have to see what this does to their friendship.

Just like that, Zee and I had been arm and arm. It was weird, not being around Jimmy as much as I used to be. But it was nice to be around Zee. He didn’t make fun of me because I liked Jimmy, he was actually caring. When he saw that I was sad about Jimmy and Liza, he’d take me for a drive. I had never been so emotionally attached to a guy in my entire life. But, we were just friends. 

That’s all it was.

But Jimmy had noticed we had gotten closer. Which is probably why he brought it up in the car after he picked me up from my song writing class.

“Who are you taking to the dance, you have been silent about it.” Jimmy would ask, glancing my way. I was a little shocked because he never asked me about my dating life, he was too engrossed with his own to care. 

Or so I thought at that time.

“Why do you care?” I asked, scrolling through my phone. I didn’t mean to be mean to him. I was just trying to slowly distance myself from him. Being in love with him for six years is a very long time. And I just wanted to finally view him as a friend.

“Seriously Tommy, what is up with you? Are you mad at me? Are you angry that I am taking Liza to the dance and not you because we talked about this-“

“Not everything is about you Jimmy, for fuck sakes.” I would say, turning towards him. “It’s just shocking that you suddenly care about my life because all you do recently is suck face with Liza.” 

“So that’s what it is. You are jealous because I am with a girl and not spending so much time with you? I can say the same thing Tommy, you have only been around Zee for the last few weeks. You don’t see me bitching at you for having a new best friend.”

I didn’t say anything after that. I didn’t want to fight with him. We weren’t going to do this.

“Now, who are you going to the dance with.” He suddenly asked, before laughing. “Who are you going to the dance with? Composition?”

I didn’t know what the hell he meant by composition u til I realized he was making a joke about my writing. He used to always make fun of me for writing music and stories all the time. He would say that was the main reason I didn’t have a girlfriend.

I don’t know why it made me so angry, but I punched him, hard, in his shoulder. He was shocked because he quickly looked at me, laughing.

“See, this is why you don’t have a girlfriend.” He would say, shaking his head

I don’t have one because I don’t want one. But I wasn’t going to bring that up now. Not when I was angry. “Because of what?”

“Because of your shitty temper. Nobody wants to date someone who get angry so quickly.” He’d joke and I quickly would turn towards him. Oh he had some nerve.

I quickly pointed to my cheek, the scar was still there fo where he pushed me to the ground. It was faded, but it will forever be a piece of Jimmy and I’s relationship.

“Says the one who gave me this scar when we were 11 years old because he was scared to lose,” I’d say, sassing him. This wasn’t the first time I brought this up in an argument. I just always thought it was funny how angry he got. He was still embarrassed about it.

And I thought it was cute.

“You know what, give me your best shot.” He would say and I would laugh even harder.

“My best shot at what?”

“Hit me, give me your best shot I’m sick of you bringing this up to me all the damn time,” he would say, pushing his face towards me and I would push him away.

“Would you watch the damn road!” I shouted, laughing.

It was silent for a while, a comfortable silence, before Jimmy would speak again.

“You know you could tell me anything right?” He suddenly asked and I looked at him. If only he knew how much I wanted to shout my love for him. How many times I almost did. 

But I didn’t want to lose our friendship. 

“Of course,” I’d say. Not looking at him. I couldn’t look at him. 

It was silent for a beat again. I heard him sigh and I didn’t dear look at him. But of course he spoke first.

“If you are… you know… dating Zee I would understand,” I quickly would look up at him, shocked. I wasn’t expecting that coming out of his mouth.

“What?” 

“He told me… he told me he asked you to the dance and… he seemed a little excited about it. And I know we always go, as friends. And you guys are both boys too… but you guys have been hanging out a lot lately and…. and it’s okay. Really. If you are.”

I never would he a thought in a million years that Jimmy would think Zee and I were dating. And Zee was excited? About the dance? That surprised me as well. Yes we had gotten closer, but I wasn’t expecting   
Jimmy to notice.

And think we were dating.

“I- we-“ I suddenly spoke, my face flushed in embarrassment. “Z-Zee and I aren’t dating. We are just friends…” I’d say, whispered and hushed. As I spoke I didn’t even know if I was telling the whole truth.

Do boys go over to each other's houses, sleep in each other's arms and cry? Do they ask each other to dances? Did they smile at each other how Zee smiled at me. 

It was silent the whole ride to our houses. I’d quickly get out of the car, not daring to look at Jimmy as I made my ways quickly towards my house. 

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest. I felt like I could puke.


	7. Chapter 5.3: Prom Blue's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy is struggling with the thoughts of Zee liking him, and his feelings towards Jimmy. Which starts some insane interactions and truths during prom.

After the conversation with Jimmy about the whole me and Zee dating thing, I haven’t talked to Jimmy again. It made me so angry that he couldn’t see that I was in love with him. Him! And it went right over his damn head. Like always. He would try to talk to me on my walkie, he would shout for me from his window. But I just couldn’t face him after that.

Mainly because I was also very confused.

Zee? Liking me? That was new. Zee was one of the other popular guys in school. He could have any girl he wanted. And he likes girls. Didn’t he? He’s also dated a lot in our group, all of them having been girls. Why would he suddenly like me out of everyone else? It would make no sense. 

“Tommy! Zee’s here!” My mom shouted and suddenly Zee was in my room. It was a common occurrence but why was I so nervous at this moment.

“Are you okay?” Zee asked, he stayed by the door and I just looked at him.

“Why would I not be okay?” I asked before shrugging. “Tonight will be great. It’s senior prom. Best night of our lives right.” 

I’d smile at him as I went towards my closet. I had gotten my tux a week beforehand. Zee and I decided that we were going to do the same colors so we’d match, something I’d do with Jimmy all the time. As a joke. But this didn’t feel like a joke. It was real.

“Jimmy told me you haven’t talked to him in days. What’s going on?” Zee has always been one of our middle men. And looking back, I sort of feel sorry for him.

I shrugged again, “we had an uncomfortable conversation.” 

“Of what?” Of course he’d press on. Damn you Zee.

“Nothing, really. It was just-“

“Fine if you don’t want to talk about it then I’m leaving.” Zee suddenly said and he went to grab at my door handle and before I knew it was running towards him, pushing him away and slamming my door shut with my back. It was silent for a few moments. Just Zee looking down at me and suddenly I had to know.

“Jimmy thinks we are dating.” I blurted out. And suddenly I was blushing. This wasn’t what I wanted to talk about right now. 

Zee didn’t say anything. He just stared at me before he did the unthinkable. 

He grabbed my cheeks and kissed me. Hard. I ended up gasping in his lips but I didn’t pull away. I was too gobsmacked to move away. And suddenly he pulled away, blushing himself before he spoke again.

“Take that the way you want to,” he would suddenly say before he pushed me to the side, leaving my room and closing the door behind him. 

I stood there for a minute before a sudden movement from my window caught my eye. There, standing at his own window, was Jimmy. He looked at me for a few minutes before he closed his curtains.

He had saw everything.

*

A few hours later. My mother was fussing with me about my tux. I wasn’t one to know how to dress myself back then, and I was thankful for my mother's gifted eyes at knowing what fashion was. My tux was black with red tones, from my tie to my under shirt. It was Zee’s idea for the color and I suddenly felt super pained.

Zee hadn’t texted me since the kiss a few hours ago, and I was sort of scared that he didn’t want to go to the prom with me anymore. I was still shocked about the kiss, mainly because I still couldn’t believe Zee liked me of all people. And I still didn’t know what to do with that answer. And Jimmy had saw the whole kiss go down and something about his reaction brought hope to my gut. He seemed upset. But upset didn’t make sense. He was my best friend, yes, so maybe he was upset to have to find out that Zee and I were dating that way.

But it still didn’t make sense.

A knock on the door made me jump, and my mom went to go answer the door. Zee suddenly came into View. He looked amazing that night, of course, with his red suit to match mine. And seeing him made me smile widely. I was genuinely happy to see him that night. And I hope he knows that.

“Oh Zee you look amazing!” My mom gushed, patting him on his arm. I was so focused on Zee that I didn’t even notice Jimmy and Joss were right behind him. Jimmy wouldn’t even look at me, his eyes to the ground. But he looked amazing too that night, his hair combed up and styled so nicely, his black and blue tux. On his side was Liza, who was trying to talk to him but he seemed distracted.

“Group picture, all of you! Come on,” My mother would shout, pushing the boys in. “You too Joss, let's go.”

I don’t know how it happened, but I ended up being in the middle of both Jimmy and Zee, Jimmy to my left, and Zee to my right. It was one of the most awkward situations in my life, and looking back at that picture, I can only say that was only the beginning.

The limo ride to the prom was a fun one, Jimmy seemed to finally loosen up, taking out the beer he was hiding in his suit pocket and taking a swing. Joss was already tipsy, screaming outside of the sunroof that it was night of all nights for us seniors. We got honks from bypassers, and I genuinely was having the time of my life.

It’s when we got to the venue where things started to get weird. Starting with Liza and Jimmy. They argued for a long time. From them taking couple pictures at the front, which Jimmy surprisingly didn’t want to do, to Jimmy not wanting to dance. Jimmy just seemed so distracted. Which caused me to be distracted.

“When are they just going to break up?” Joss suddenly said, laughing a little as he finally came cover to me from finishing dancing with his then girlfriend, Emi. We were watching as Liza pulled Jimmy to the side, once again, to yell at him.

I haven’t even noticed they were having problems?

“Why are they arguing so much, I thought they loved each other,” I’d suddenly say, Zee even nodded at my comment.

“Please, they don’t love each other. Jimmy is only with her because she is the cousin of the director of USC. You know how crazy his dad is about him getting into the school, every since he got in he’s never really as much as kissed her.” Joss said, rolling his eyes. “If she wasn’t so hot, he probably would have dumped her by now.”

And on that note, a slow song finally started playing. One of my favorites. ‘The Night We Met’ by Lord Huron. Couples from all around the room were getting together, dancing. Zee must have seen how much I wanted to dance because he suddenly grabbed my hand, pulling me to the dance. It wasn’t awkward as he grabbed my waist and I clumsily wrapped my arms around his neck.

‘I am not the only traveler’

At that moment, I was thinking. As I stood there with Zee. Dancing with him, not Jimmy, if I could finally let go of my feelings for Jimmy once and for all. Zee had been so kind to me, stuck beside me with my issues with Jimmy for years. He didn’t judge me for loving my best friend. Hell, he became my second best friend so easily that I couldn;t believe it myself. He was attractive, and he had awesome goals for himself.

And he liked me back.

‘Who has not repaid his debt  
I've been searching for a trail to follow again’

I had been hurting over Jimmy for over nine years. This was finally going to be my chance to feel what true love felt like, with someone who liked me back. And he was here, right in my arms.

‘Take me back to the night we met’

But even with that, my thoughts went to Jimmy. From when I first met him when I was eight years old. To his eyes lighting up from across the window, his lanky body hanging from his window just to speak to me. His eyes filled with sadness when I wouldn’t talk to him for months as I was scared to talk to him. To his sad eyes from causing me to fall and scrape my face. To the nights when we would dance in our boxers at our windows. To the nights when he would sneak up into my room because his parent’s were arguing and he couldn’t take it anymore. So he would sleep in my room, on the end of my bed, and instantly fall asleep. To our kiss when we were kids. His ‘I’m thankful my first kiss was with someone I cared about.’

I didn’t know what came over me, but I suddenly was crying. I was overcome by so much sadness all of a sudden. I was so stupid. So, So stupid.

“Tommy, hey, why are you crying.” Zee suddenly asked, and I shook my head. He was so gentle with me. He wiped my tears away, and looked at me with so much love. Love that I could possibly have if he wasn’t for Jimmy.

I wasn’t what happened next. I felt eyes on us, which made me turn to see Jimmy was looking at us. He wasn’t paying attention to Liza feeling him up, and kissing his neck all the way up to his ear. His sensitive spot, me only knowing this because he, Zee, and Joss would joke about it so many damn times. He was looking right at me.

I don’t know what came over me but suddenly, I was kissing Zee. I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him down to meet my lips. When I did it, I instantly regretted it. But it felt so good for some reason to rile up a reaction out of Jimmy.

‘I had all and then most of you  
Some and now none of you  
Take me back to the night we met’

Suddenly I heard Liza screaming Jimmy’s name and I quickly pulled away from Zee Jimmy storming out of the room, Liza’s blue dress trailing behind her. I looked after them, shocked.

“Shit,” I muttered, and I felt Zee looking at me so I turned back to look at him. He looked so pained in the face and I felt so so stupid.

“You still love Jim, I knew it.” He said and I couldn’t deny it. I suddenly was crying again.

“I-I’m so sorry Zee, I am so stupid. You are the one I am at the prom with and i’m over here thinking about a boy who doesn’t even like dudes. I am so sorry” I sobbed and Zee only laughed, petting my hair softly.

“I understand, trust me I do.” He whispered softly before speaking again. “You should go after him.”

“What?”

“You should go after him, don't look like Liza and he is going to make it another hour. He’s going to need you I’m sure.” he said this so calmly, that it shocked me. The fact that he was doing this will always shock me.

Zee was not like anyone in this world. And I will forever love him because of it, truly.

I quickly hugged him, before pulling back. I looked at him for a few more moments, and nodded me on, pushing me towards the door. I felt bad, but I nodded at him and ran towards the door as fast as I could. I remember looking around for Jimmy and he was nowhere to be seen. I instantly knew where I could find him.

I took a taxi home that night, and was filled with relief at seeing his window lit up by the lights of his room. I quickly opened my house and ran up the stairs, opening my room door and slowly walked over to my window. 

And I didn’t know at that moment, that our lives were going to change that night as I leaned out of my window, and screamed his name


	8. Chapter Six: Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy rushes home to speak with Jimmy, who rushed out of prom without Liza. The two share soft words through their mics until Jimmy brings up that he got his letter from UCLA, the college of his dreams. And He wants to share this moment with Tommy. But suddenly sparks fly, and tensions rise between these friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was getting too long so I had to split it up into two parts, sorry haha

I never screamed Jimmy’s name as much as I had that night, I screamed it so loud that I’m glad my parents weren’t home, they’d think I was insane. My hands gripped onto my window seal, my knuckles white as I screamed his name. 

I stood there for a few minutes, tears running down my face. In anger. At him and myself. I left my date, just so I can scream my best friend's name like an idiot just for him not to answer me. I stared at his window for a few seconds before I slowly turned towards my wakie.

And then an idea popped in my head.

I walked over to the walkie. It’s black body covered in stickers I’ve placed on it after years of it being Jimmy and I’s communication line. I stared at the scotch tape lined on the front of it, Jimmy’s handwriting visible with ‘Direct communication to Jimmy Kristsanaphan. Only touch if you are Tommy’. He wrote that when we were 12, right after he apologized again for pushing me into the concrete. It seemed so long ago.

It was so innocent then.

I sat on my bed before I took the thing into my hands. Taking in a nervous breath before I turned it on and pushed the button in. We haven’t talked through this in weeks. He probably had it off. But it was worth a shot.

I pushed the bottom down, and spoke.

“Jim?” I said, my voice cracking a little. I was a crying mess and it was embarrassing. 

I got nothing, but I kept going.

“Jim, I know you are there. Your lights on.” I spoke, looking over to my window to see his light was indeed on. 

I remember waiting, patiently. It was silent for three whole minutes before suddenly I heard a noise from the walkie and my heart thudded loudly. I held my breath as he spoke.

“Why aren’t you with Zee?” Was all he said, his voice sounded almost teasing. But I knew he probably was crying himself.

I rolled my eyes, “I try to speak to you to see if you are okay and the first thing you ask about is Zee? For fuck sakes Jim.” 

I heard him laugh, before suddenly I spoke again.

“So… you and Liza?” 

He sighed.

“I should have dumped her a long time ago. I was just trying to keep up with appearances you know, look good for my dad. Play ball and have a sexy ass girlfriend. Didn’t know it would cause me to have a huge headache.” He rambled on, I can almost see him shaking his head. It made me smile a little.

“I didn’t know you guys were on bad terms, seemed to me like you guys were fine,” I would bring up because it was true. Every Time I was around them they would be making out and making heart eyes at each other. It was sickening. And hurtful. Sickening and hurtful. 

“It was all a stunt…. I know I should have said something to you about it, but I didn’t want to worry you. Not when…” he paused, and didn’t say anything at all.

“Not when what Jim?”

“Not when you were all up on Zee lately, it made me angry so I just wanted to get back at you. Wouldn’t have worked if I said me and Liza were a shit show, wouldn’t it?” He said, laughing. It was a sad kind of laugh that pained my heart to hear. 

“Well, if you weren’t all up on Liza, I wouldn’t have been all up on Zee now would I? I only was because he was a better friend at the moment then you were, as soon as you started dating Liza you started to ignore me.” I shot back, and without knowing it my voice cracked. I heard movement and suddenly light shined into my room from Jimmy’s room. He was at the window.

I remember running to the window and my breath hitched as I saw Jimmy. He had taken off is tux and was now in just sweatpants. His eyes looked red from crying, and just seeing him hurt so much. But it felt so good to see him. To talk to him. To have him again.

“I fucked up, Tom’s. I’m sorry.” He said and it was silent for a while before I spoke again, my eyes not leaving his as I lifted up my walkie.

“I fucked up too, Jim’s” I said and smiled a little. And suddenly we were both laughing. I felt so good to laugh with him after all this time. All the fighting and everything else was so tiring but finally, after weeks, it felt like I had my Jimmy back.

And that was better than anything else.

It was silent for a moment. It was a comfortable silence as we both looked at eachother. It was so tense that I almost blushed. We never looked at eachother like this. Not since….

Not since we kissed each other. I remembered his lips on mine. Young, clumsy, and gentle. And the subtle shake of nerves running between us.

‘I am happy my kiss was with someone I cared about,’ He had said. And he genuinely meant that. And my heart thudded in my chest. Why was I thinking of this right now? I just got him back and I was going to ruin it with my feelings. That’s what ruined it from the beginning.

“I got my letter from UCLA today,” Jimmy suddenly broke the silence and I quickly looked up at him. This was the moment he had been waiting for, for years. And my sadness was replaced by eagerness.

“Fuck Jimmy! Come over now, let’s see it!” I shouted and he laughed. We had made a small makeshift ladder that allowed Jimmy to come into my room when his parents would argue and he wanted to spend the night not to wake up my parents. It was easy access for him. I watched as he climbed down before running over to mine, my heart started beating in a nonstop hurried motion and I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. I watched as he easily climbed up to my room, years of being the better athlete betten the two of us. I moved aside to let him enter my room, and I suddenly felt super nervous.

Jimmy had always been taller than me. Ever since we were kids. But at that moment, I felt so small that I just wanted the floor to eat me alive. 

“Well, let’s see it for fuck sakes.” I said, laughing nervously as I walked over to my bed. It was just weird. Having him shirtless in my room. I have seen him shirtless so many damn times. But here I was, blushing like a girl.

I was going to die.

He slowly sat next me. So close that I felt his body heat and the trimmers as he stroked the envelope in his hand. The blue and yellow of the UCLA stamp rang out like it was singing to us. I was nervous as well. This was a big moment. As soon as he opened that letter, we would know the direction of Jimmy’s adulthood. This was something he wanted since we were kid’s.

This was what Jimmy wanted more than anything in the world.

He suddenly pushed it to me in a shaking hand, taking a deep breath.

“Y-You open it. I am so damn scared and I trust you,” He whispered and I slowly took it in my hands with a nod. I sat there for a few moments before I turned it into my hands and ripped it open. I looked at him for a few moment before I took the paper out of its home and held his arm before unfolding it.

It felt like my heart was going to rip out of my chest in that moment. My hand squeezed onto his arm, I started shaking him like crazy. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I smiled up at him.

“You got in!” I shouted and he looked at me in disbelief as he snatched the paper out of hands. I felt like I didn’t love Jimmy more than I loved him then, as I stared at him as he stood up on my bed and screamed at the top of his lungs. I was so happy my parents weren’t home to hear his screams. He jumped up and down on my bed, screaming and smiling from ear to ear.

“I got in!” He shouted before he suddenly tackled me, pushing me on the bed as excitement took over him. I laughed a little before suddenly he went silent, and I did too.

It was then that suddenly that tension was there again as he looked me in the eye. I never would have thought I’d have Jimmy in my room at that moment, shirtless, and on top of me like this. It was only something I dreamed of. But it was reality.

And Jimmy felt it to before suddenly he was off of me like something had shocked him.

“Shit,” He suddenly said as he crossed across my room, away from me. He stood near my closet, his back towards me. 

“W-What’s wrong?” I suddenly whispered, too scared that he knew. Too scared that he was going to leave again. I knew then, that he wasn’t going to leave my room without knowing I was gay. That I loved him.

“I-I saw you and Zee kissing,” He suddenly said and took a breathe. “I shouldn’t have done that and I am sorry. I knew you guys were dating and I just...I just-” Then he stopped talking.

“You just what?” I asked and suddenly he turned towards me and his skin was so red but what had shocked me was that he was crying. “Jim-”

“I have been trying to pretend, you know. Trying to mask how I really feel. Every since that day I kissed you at Zee’s I-I felt something for you, you know, more than a friend. But I tried so hard to pretend that I didn’t because in my head, being gay was wrong. And my father always brought up the simple fact that I should bring a girl home and play ball. I can’t go around liking no boy, let alone you Tom. But as we got older, my feeling for you grew. So I started dating Liza, you know, to be normal. I made up lies of screwing so many girls to Joss and Zee because I wanted to seem normal and then- then you started hanging with Zee and he came and told me he liked you and I- I just snapped.”

He was silent again. All of this shocked me. I was not expecting this from Jimmy. All this time he had?

Suddenly he was speaking again. “I started ignoring you because I was angry at you for liking men, but not for the reason I thought….I was angry because you didn’t tell me. And then I saw you kissing Zee and-”

“We aren’t dating/” I suddenly brought up, before I blushed.

“What?”

“Zee and I...we aren’t dating. H-He likes me but I never really accepted.” I said before clearing me throat.

“Oh…” He suddenly said and cleared his throat as well. “But you-”

“Yes, I like guys.” I said. And this was only the second time I said it out loud and damn did that feel good. To finally have it out in the open.

But I was still scared to-

“I want to try something, but you have to promise not to freak out.” He suddenly said. And the first time he had said this, we ended up kissing in the back of Zee’s house. So this wasn’t good for me. Not at all.

“W-What do you want to try?” I asked, raising my eye brow. I was scared shitless. But I knew at that moment I’d do anything he wanted.

Anything at all.

“I wanted to….experiment a little bit you know….see if what I am feeling for you is true.” He suddenly said and was blushing. How did we get here again? The world will never know.

“Experiment? How”

It was silent for a little before he slowly glanced at my bed before looking at me. And I knew right away what he wanted to do.

“No, you can’t be serious.”

“But I am! I have been thinking about this ever since I saw you and Zee kiss!” He shouted and I shook my head.

“You are just being impulsive. Why do we have to have sex? Can’t we just kiss or something? Like we did before” I sighed and Jimmy shook his head.

“I already know I like kissing you, thats the problem.” He said and it shocked me so much that I almost fell to the floor in a puddle of my own body. Oh why does he have to be so blunt?

I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t. I had to kick him out. I had to before I did something so stupid. And I still couldn;t say I loved him. I was so stupid.

“Tommy,”

Something in his voice made me look up. He was looking at me with su=uch sadness. And he also standing there shirtless and proud. And I knew if I rejected him at that moment that I would hurt him. And I didn’t want to hurt him.

I am so stuid, I tell you.,

Silently, I took off my button up shirt, tossing it to the ground. I blushed as I felt Jimmy looking at my every move. I was a virgin, for crying out loud. I can’t do this. I walked over slowly to my bed and sat down, looking up at the boy whom I loved so much. And he looked at me. We were waiting but for what? Me? I was waiting for him to start laughing, to say this was a prank and he was getting back at me for not telling him I was gay. It never came. He just kept looking at me, his eyes taking in my naked chest. I gulped, my body started to respond just by him looking at me.

“Jim, Maybe we should you know...shower first?”

“Already did.”

“Well, maybe I should shower?”

“It's fine.” He said without hesitation and I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. From the corner of my eye I saw him move and suddenly he was beside me. I just couldn’t look at him.

“Can...I touch you?” He asked and I shrugged. 

It was silent again before suddenly his hands touched my chest, causing me to jump. I didn’t look at him still as he explored my chest with his hands.

“Dude,” He said suddenly. “Your chest is so flat.”

“Fuck you Jimmy, seriously?! What did you expect? That I’d have tits like a girl!” I shouted, finally looking over at him in anger.

He smiled at me, softly. “Finally got you to look at me.”

I laughed a little, my anger quickly leaving as I looked at him. I was so nervous that I didn’t know what to do. So I said just that.

“I-I never did this before.” I whispered and Jimmy;s didn’t look shocked at all, the fucker. He just smiled widely.

“I’ll take the lead,” He said.

And just like that, he kissed me for the first the second time.


	9. Chapter 6.2: Wiggle and Jiggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Tommy explore sexually for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sex. Not sex? Somewhat sex? I don't know haha. I hope you enjoy it. Just keep in mind they are horn knee teenagers so anything feels good? Okay, go read and comment when done thankssss.

Agh. I can’t believe I am doing this.

Even as I am thinking back to this moment, I can’t believe I allowed Jimmy and I to do what we did on that night of prom. But as they say, love makes you stupid. And I was so stupid that night. So very stupid. But I loved Jimmy, loved him so much. And I didn’t know if this was going the be the only time he was going to touch me. Or this will go on from here on out.

And I wanted to get a taste of it, just in case.

I know what you are thinking, that I am sick and I am twisted. But what would you have done if the person you loved for many years suddenly confessed to you that he was confused? Wouldn’t you be as light headed and stupid as I was.

I think you would be.

My body shook as I allowed Jimmy to push me push me further up the bed until my head hit the back of my pillows. Jimmy, who was my best friend since we were Eleven. Jimmy, the boy whom I loved since I was thirteen. The boy in my bed was Jimmy. And he was kissing me.

My god, he was kissing me!

He must have felt me panicking because suddenly he pulled away from my lips to stare down at me. I stared back, my eyes bouncing from his eyes, to his cheeks, to his nose. Taking it all in. Just in case this was the last moment I was able to do this. His skin was so perfect, but sweaty. A bead of sweat was slowly falling down his cheeks and I so badly wanted to lick it off-

“You changed your mind,” His soft voice brought me out of my thoughts of licking his face and suddenly I was blushing like mad. Agh, what was wrong with me? The thoughts of a hormonal teenage boy are terrifying. “I knew you would.”

“No, wait please,” I rushed out to say, my voice scaring even myself. It was breathless just...deep? I have never heard my voice like that. “I didn’t change my mind, I promise.”

“You should.”

I glared at him. “You are the one who wanted to have sex with me!”

“I know I know, but maybe it was a dumb idea.”

“Well you are kissing me now, so we are here.”

My eyes looked at his face. I couldn’t believe I was saying this. I knew I was a blushing mess because I have never done anything like this before in my life. But, having Jimmy in my bed has been a dream of mine since I could dream about stuff like that. And he was here. On top of me. 

I couldn’t let this stop now.

“Tommy-”

I placed my fingers on his lips, forcing him to shut up. He wasn’t going to try to talk me out of it. Not now. The feeling of his hot breath on my finger drove me insane. And the fact that a little thing like that could make me go hard in my pants spoke volumes. Ah, the desire of a teenage boy.

“Fine,” He whispered, taking my hand and running his fingers alongside mine. “I am going to touch you now.” It was like he was preparing me for what was to come and I was trying so hard not to panic again. Having Jimmy touch me…. A part of my brain was screaming at me to stop this. That it was wrong. He was my best friend. A boy. I shouldn’t like boys. And once we do this, there would be no coming back from this. But the thought of loving Jimmy overpowered these hateful thoughts. And all I wanted him to do right now was to touch me.

“Go ahead,” I heard myself say. I surprised myself again as I laid my back against the pillows, my eyes not leaving his. “Touch me, if you want.”

I kept the if you want there, so he can decide. He wanted to do this. So I wanted him to know it was all up to him now. For sure, I would have been destroyed if he left me aroused on my bed. But I also would never force Jimmy to go all the way if he was confused.

I watched as Jimmy stared down at my stomach, making me squirm in my spot. I wasn’t athletic like he was. My stomach was soft, and it wasn’t something to drool over. He, on the other hand. Has toned muscles, flat abs, and soft skin that not just me wanted to touch. He was the biggest catch. And he wanted to touch me.

Touch me?!

He suddenly reached out a hand to place against my stomach and I held in a breath. He must have felt me stiffen because he looked up at me from under his lashes. Searching? Searching for what? He looked a little frustrated, like he didn’t get what he wanted and I was so damn confused. He stayed there for a minute, which made me start to worry again.

“Jimmy? Everything-”

“Hush, give me a minute. I am trying to think.” He said quickly and I raised an eye brow.

“Think about what?”

“How I should go from here, how to make you feel good.” And I blushed. How can he be so shameless?

“Do you want me to, you know, take over?” I asked and he quickly looked up at me, and Instantly shut up.

“No, I started this. I finish it.” He shoots back at me. All I could do was nod, and take in a breath. This was not how I imagined my first time to be. Not at all. It was a lot of talking but it was with Jimmy, so I figured it made sense.

I watched as he brought his hand slowly towards my right nipple before he slowly ran a finger across it. And without a doubt, It grew hard. Not surprising at all. But embarrassing. Last thing I wanted was for Jimmy to see how responsive I was to him. Hell, I still haven’t talked to him about my feelings.Last thing I wanted was for him to see that I got aroused just from him rubbing my nipples.

He looked at me again, and frowned. Searching again. I wanted to ask him what the hell he was searching for but I didn’t get the chance because suddenly he was leaning forward and his mouth was on the same nipple he had brushed eariler and there was no thinking. I trembled all over, and it felt my body was having shock waves from my chest all the way down to my...oh my god? Who would have guessed I’d feel sensations from my nipples to my...oh my god.

That must have been what he wanted because he didn’t look up again as he kissed my right nipple, driving me off the rails. I was a breathless mess, and suddenly my hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging. I had no control over my body. And my cock was hurting against my shorts and I just wanted them off.

He suddenly pulled back and I whined as the cold air of my room rubbed against the sensitive skin my nipple. I bet I looked a mess and I just wanted to get up and run away. But the way Jimmy was looking at me..Now that made me stay. His eyes were glassy, darkened. And I have never been looked at like that before. And it drove me crazy.

It scared me.

“J-Jim?” I asked, my voice making me want to slap myself. It was hoarse like I was running a marathon without water.

He suddenly crawled over to me until he was on top of me completely and I bit my lip. The suspense at this moment was too much. He wasn’t speaking, and god I wished I could read his mind. And I just wanted him to take my damn shorts off. But he kissed me again, pushing his tongue against my lips. He was wanting me to open my mouth so I did it without hesitation. And his tongue slid in my mouth, hot. So hot that it made my moan around his lips.

Yep, kissing Jimmy was amazing. 

He broke our kiss again and suddenly he was looking up at me again, his fingers slowly traveling from my neck, to my nipple, to my stomach. The more he came down to my shorts the more my hips lifted. I wanted him to touch me...there. Right now. And he sensed it because a grin filled his face and I just wanted to punch him in the face.

Suddenly he was toying with the hem of my shorts, and he was shaking. That made me get out of my cloud of lust. He was so confident but now? I watched as he bit his lip, his fingers shaking. and suddenly the moment felt so...real? He was nervous too.

“Here, let me.” I spoke before I quickly slid my shorts off, throwing them off to the side. I wasn’t thinking that as soon as I did this, I would be completely naked under Jimmy. And he was going to see how aroused I was just from him kissing me. I didn’[t realize this until he slowly looked down to my uncovered cock, it red and ready to be touched. Agh, why was my body so honest?

“So, you find this sexy huh?” He asked and I didn’t answer so he tried again. “You actually like me?”

I stayed silent, too scared to say a word. God dammit it Jimmy, we can’t you just touch my cock and not talk? Why do I have to tell you things?

“For how long?”

Here it was. I bit my lip, shaking my head. This was not how I imagined my first time being like this. Me being on the verge of tears.

He suddenly sensed my shaking and I felt him slowly touch my face forcing my to look at him. I felt the first year escape my eyes. I was so scared at that moment. Why? I was literally naked as all hell in front of him. Of course that showed I liked him. Why was I freaking out like this?

“A-A while,” I whispered and I suddenly was crying harder and agh I was so pathetic I hated myself. Who cries during sex like this?

“Hey, hey Tommy.” He whispered and his voice was so soft and it made me cry more. He forced me to look at him again. “It’s okay, really.”

“No it’s not, I am pathetic.” I said and I was trying to push away from him but suddenly he pinned me down, his eye locked with mine.

“I don’t think you are,” He whispered. And I was so scared at the softness of his words that I stayed still as he lowered himself to kiss my cheek, and then my forehead. Then my lips. And something just broke inside me because suddenly I was wrapping my legs around his waist pulling him closer to me. I wanted him to be so close to me, and not let go. I grabbed at his shoulders, his back, his hair, and wanted to touch all of him. I suddenly was pulling at his sweats, wanting them off.

“Off,” I gasped, pulling back from the kiss. “I want them off.”

He laughed a little but helped me pull his sweats off and suddenly his lower body slide over mind, and a moan slipped out of both of our lips. The amount of ecstasy I was filling was through the roof, and my body was shaking non-stop. He suddenly grabbed my legs, pulling them closer to him to him, before rocking his hips again, making me press my face into his neck.

“J-Jimmy,” I whimpered. And he kissed me again, and our bodies rocked against each other even faster. So hard and fast that I heard the bed squeaking over the sound of our moaning and breathing. Oh, thank goodness my parents weren’t home. We weren't so secretive of what we were doing. Not at all.

“N-Not enough,” I heard Jimmy say and suddenly he was sitting up, his eyes looking at mine before his fingers touched my tip and I gasped, biting my lip. I am surprised it wasn’t bleeding from all the biting I was doing. Jimmy was experienced, but not with boys. So he was still hesitant but he knew way more than me. He knew how to make me feel good of course. So I wasn’t shocked at the next thing he did.

He grabbed my cock in one hand, and the other reached for his, and suddenly he pushed them together. And I felt like I was exploding with the amount of pleasure I was feeling as he slowly rolled his against mine, rolling his hand along with his strides.

I never knew this would feel so good.

I leaned up, my face going to his neck again, a moaning mess as I clumsily rolled my hips to mess his. Suddenly we were moaning together, in sync. And I have no idea why that brought me over the edge but I couldn’t even warn Jimmy as I suddenly was cumming in his hands. My back arching but he held me close, so all I could do was shake against him. He came right after me, a choked “Fuck” Before he fell on top of me.

It was silent for a while, nothing but our breathing. We were both sweaty but he didn’t move from off me, and I didn’t make him.

“Now you have cum all over your hands...sorry.” Was the first thing I said which caused us both to laugh. I was so thankful for that.

“No shit, Tommy.” He said, his voice shaky.

I waited a moment, before I asked the important question.

“Any regrets?”

“No”

I shook my head, “You are post orgasim, I’ll ask you again tomorrow. “

He pulled me closer, and I felt him smile. “The answer will be the same.”

And just like that, Jimmy and I entered adulthood. Together.


End file.
